Guest: Gillian Farry
Presenter: Wayne Bucklar
Guest Bio: For nearly 40 years, Gillian Farry has closely studied human communication and has mastered it many times over by professional qualifications and experience. Gillian is an expert in interpersonal communications and therefore relationships of all kinds, emotional intelligence and how to live a meaningful happy life. Through a range of services from coaching, keynote speaking and her books, Gillian can show you how to find renewed purpose in your life, unthought of levels of success and an overall feeling of happiness via a unique process that is quite simply life changing.
Segment Overview: In this segment, life coach Gillian Farry joins the program to promote the various services that she offers ranging from career coaching and speaking training. Emotional intelligence is one of the main issues that she emphasizes on. She states that people can use emotional intelligence at any stage in their life. Gillain says: “It’s particularly helpful in relationships because that’s where we display a lot of emotion and that’s where people feel a lot of emotions and they’re always positive emotions and jealousies and they’re things like that.”
Wayne Bucklar: You’re listening to Business Radio Talkers.FM. My name is Wayne Bucklar and joining me in conversation today is Gillian Farry. Now Gillian is talking to us from Brisbane in Australia and is here to tell us what she does and who she does it for. Gillian, welcome to the show.
Gillian Farry: Thank you for having me.
Wayne: It’s our pleasure Gillian. Now I have to admit, I read your website, it says “Gillian Farry” and I thought that doesn’t tell me what you do. When I talk to people who say Bob Smith Real Estate, it’s pretty obvious. But tell us what it is you do and who do you do it for.
Gillian: Well there’s a reason behind it’s just my name. I’ve been told by many people that I need to build a brand. So the brand is me. It took me a long time to actually pluck up the courage to get Gillian Farry dot com, called as “Stickers of Myself.” So anyway, I’ve started off doing it like that, I’m building a brand under my name but essentially, I’m a life coach and I say a life coach with tongue-in-cheek because I’ve been doing this for nearly all my life really in one form or another. Now I do it for professionals, for school leavers, for anybody that’s having difficulty in their life particularly when it’s a result of change. I’ve had many changes happening in my life. One of those big changes is for people leaving school and obviously, training and not quite sure about what they want to do with their lives and people still come to me at 50 and say, they don’t know what they want to do when they leave school. That’s okay, we just address redundancies. I can address any kind of major change as well. So we’re focused on that because I do emotional intelligence, I also cover relationships and having a happy meaningful life when you live according to your values.
Wayne: Gillian, it’s funny you should say “tongue-in-cheek” because I notice your book is called “Untie Your Tongue.” You’ve got a bit of a tongue focus going on here, tell us about your book.
Gillian: Firstly, there was never meant to be a focus on tongue, it was just a figure of speech. But of course, when it comes to speaking, when it comes to communicating of course, the tongue is a vital component I suppose of that in some way or another. The reason behind the title of the book is because of the saying, “Has the cat got your tongue?” and I came up with it as a result of not to surprise anyone else is the book but I read a book called, “Tongue Fu” and I kind of like the play on words. So I thought, “How can I incorporate the word tongue because it does represent communication so anyway, it came up with “Untie Your Tongue and Speak Perfectly.” The reason it’s perfectly is because I also engaged an illustrator to do me a dozen or so illustrations so that I could use them in various situations when you’re communicating with somebody and it’s the cat communicating. So it puts a playful slant onto the book and makes it easier to read.
Wayne: Now before I want to ask you about your coaching and your packages of coaching, but I noticed you mentioned in your intro, “emotional intelligence” and it’s been one of those things that’s been getting in my head so as to speak lately because lots of people have been talking to me about it and we’ve been doing a program with people going into retirement. And a gerontologist tells me that one of the big issues for people retiring is that if they don’t have good emotional intelligence, they have lots of trouble adapting. So tell us what your take on emotional intelligence is and what it means.
Gillian: Well I think it’s a funny kind of a play on words because emotional intelligence has actually been around for many years. It’s just labeled emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Since then, there’s this whole move towards people having emotional intelligence and leaders having emotional intelligence. Essentially it’s having a grasp on your own emotions, understanding why you feel the emotions you do and furthermore trying then to control the outcome of those emotions so that you’re a little bit more strategically involved with it rather than just having knee-jerk reactions. I think it’s really, really important actually to train children in emotional intelligence because they grow up and they learn to identify why they’re feeling a certain way and what the feelings are associated with that. That they’re not alone when they feel like that, it’s actually reduces anxiety and helps them to feel more confident, so it’s for everybody.
Wayne: Yes, I can see that and I can understand. I remember fondly in my teenage years when feelings were just things that happen and you reacted without worrying too much about consequence or input. I guess getting control of the process that I had to go through when I grow up.
Gillian: Yes, definitely. Well you can use emotional intelligence at any stage in your life. It’s particularly helpful in relationships because that’s where we display a lot of emotion and that’s where people feel a lot of emotions and they’re not always positive emotions, there’s jealousies and they’re things like that. So understanding why you’re feeling jealous, how you’re feeling, but more importantly, how to intercept that feeling and replace it with an outcome that’s more productive for both parties, that’s all kind of sets an emotional intelligence.
Wayne: Now Gillian, I noticed on your website “Packages of Coaching.” Tell us about your coaching practice.
Gillian: Okay well, I’ve been really coaching for the last 10 years or so. I’ve been a teacher and most of my cohort of students are anywhere between 17 up to about 26. But sometimes, they can be much older. I also teach online students so I have a varied age range. Now a lot of those people require coaching. Like I said sometimes, it’s career coaching, sometimes it’s coaching of another nature to help them identify some issues and be able to move forward, empower themselves, manage their time. There are many reasons to require coaching as there are people on the planet. But the thing is I put together my packages because I feel like if somebody just wants to talk to me and tease out one problem, we can just have one casual hour and I can sometimes hit the nail on the head. I also offer a tri-package at a reduced rate because sometimes, you just need that little bit extra time. But if somebody wants to engage with me for 10 weeks which we can use up in 3 months, there’s a very special price for that and that means that we can really engage and really tease out those issues and have them really good valid set moving forth so that you can conquer mutant habits and behaviors to empower yourself. So it’s really good stuff.
Wayne: And Gillian, if you have to encapsulate what you think is the best pieces of advice you’ve given people over the years – do you have any kind of pearls of wisdom that you can share with us?
Gillian: I think the most important thing when it comes to being happy in life is that you understand what your values are, you can identify them and actually write them down so that you’re very aware of what they are and then you kind of design your life around those values. If you don’t, then you’ll end up being unhappy somewhere along the line because you’ll either be living somebody else’s values or you’ll be living not in accordance with your own on some level and that cannot make you happy. So understand what your values are or identify them and then design your life around those values so that you can at least be doing things that you find important and meaningful and then you’ll be happy.
Wayne: I like the phrase, “Design Your Life.” That’s a very empowering statement, isn’t it? You’re listening to Business Radio Talkers.FM. My name is Wayne Bucklar and I’m in conversation with Gillian Farry. Gillian, how do you describe what you do? Do you position yourself as a life coach?
Gillian: Well it’s a difficult thing. I am a life coach and I am an author because I’ve written a book and I’m also a speaker. So I’ve had 10 years of training and speaking, I belong to Toastmasters. I actually was in a series of professional bands when I was much younger. So being on stage is not really anything that’s new to me but I am putting my best foot forward now as a corporate speaker or anywhere really where you’d liked more in depth entertaining keynotes on emotional intelligence and of course relationships, living a meaningful happy life and living according with your values. And of course that can also be templated into the corporate sphere, it can be templated into the personal sphere, we have relationships with everybody even if it’s our children, everybody’s got relationships with everybody. So emotional intelligence encapsulates all of those relationships.
Wayne: Now Gillian, we think most of our listeners today are probably people in their 40s, we think the majority of them are men who are running businesses. What’s your takeaway message for them today?
Gillian: The takeaway message is if there’s something that’s not running well in your life and we all know what that is because it niggles away in the background – I’m somebody you can come to with a wealth of experience, many, many qualifications, many, many decades experience in all of what I’ve been speaking about and we can use to tease out these issues quite quickly. It only takes one little thing to be niggling away in the background and it just takes the icing off the cake I suppose. So anybody who is dealing with any major changes, anybody that finds themselves maybe not quite running to full capacity, you know where to find me.
Wayne: Well maybe they don’t know where to find you. For those people who are interested in finding you, what’s the best way to get in touch?
Gillian: Well my web address, obviously my name is “Gillian Farry”, it’s gillianfarry.com is my website, [email protected] is my email address and my mobile number is 0411 551 556.
Wayne: Gillian, I know you’re a busy person. I do appreciate you making yourself available for us today.
Gillian: That’s my pleasure. It’s been great talking to you.
Wayne: If you’ve just joined us on Business Radio Talkers.FM, then you’ve just missed a very interesting chat with Gillian Farry. The good news is on our website at Talkers.FM, we have a transcript, you can also hear an audio archive of the whole interview on SoundCloud, YouTube and iTunes. My name is Wayne Bucklar and this is Business Radio Talkers.FM.